Oh My Goth: Jokes for When You Feel Dead Inside

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Did you hear about the gothic fashion designer? They always create garments that are perfectly suited to your “ghoul”ish style. Gothic Out of Style: Graveyard Shifts in Clichés (Puns on Cliches)

Some 'your da' jokes have taken on an elevated status and are now the 'your da' jokes against which all other 'your da' jokes are judged. Did you hear about the gothic superhero who saved the day? He put his dark powers to good use, shedding light on the situation. I'm so goth that if I go out in the sunlight with bare skin showing, people have to put on shades because of the reflection off my pale skin. Why did the gothic scientist always study the night sky? Because they were fascinated by the “endless” void of darkness.

Sexbat's Guide to Dueling to the Death on Hampstead Heath

Freddy Krueger tried to pursue a career in music, but he couldn’t get a decent glove on the guitar. Dark, mysterious, and often misunderstood, goths have a unique sense of humor that reflects their love for all things macabre. From their fashion choices to their preference for melancholic music, goths find beauty in darkness. Over their career, they would build on the more romantic, affected form of goth, which culminated in the ballad ‘Butterfly on a Wheel’, but long before that, they were producing more raw works that ranged from ‘Serpents Kiss’ to ‘Severina’. However, the pinnacle of their early period is ‘Wasteland’, the opener of their debut album God’s Own Medicine. Haunted Attractions: Haunted houses, spooky tours, and macabre attractions are goth-approved activities that cater to your love for all things eerie. I'm so goth I spend every waking moment, every breath, in contemplation of Goth. The totality of my being is at one with the essence of Goth.

Edgar Allen’s Coffee House (Edgar Allen’s is a play on “Edgar Allan Poe,” a renowned gothic writer) By the late 80s and 90s, the music and look had caught on all over the world: Brazil, Mexico, Japan, Indonesia, Scandanavia. Anywhere there's internet, basically.

the collective term for goths

I like to be a smartarse as much as the next dude, but I am also mortally afraid of coming over as a hipster when I do-neatly demonstrating my above point about subcultures and stereotypes. How did the gothic hairstylist create the perfect hairstyle? With a cemetery brush and a tomb comb! The sight of the full moon always gives me chills,” Tom said eerily. Eerie Laughs: Cryptic Wordplay (Gothic Oxymoronic Puns) After Wayne Hussey left The Sisters of Mercy, he formed The Mission, a real cult band who are still going today. The Mission did a lot for the development of the genre, even if they often get overlooked in favour of the likes of Bauhaus, Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Cure and The Sisters of Mercy.

The Cursed Chamber Escape Room (The Cursed Chamber hints at a haunted or gothic-themed escape experience) Dressing inappropriately for the weather/task at hand is something that folk seem to think Goths are awesome at. While naturally this does happen-an internet’s worth of images tells us so-Sweaty Puddle Goth is an as-yet to be recognised subtype of the traditional group, and so pics like this usually amuse me. The gothic gym instructor told me that I need more exercise, but I think my obsession with darkness is enough to keep me in shape. The vampire couldn’t become an actor because he had stage fright and always found himself in a coffin up his lines. Why did the gothic comedian use a lot of dark humor? Because they wanted to “haunt” you with their jokes.

Answers to that stupid question... "Why do you wear black?"

This is one of those flash points in music history; there is before “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” and there is after. Bauhaus took the expansive atmosphere of Dub and turned the lights off. Only a bare minimum of instruments guide us through the darkness (with what sounds like a single, lit candle, of course). It’s nine minutes of simmering tension, which never quite boils over, but instead leaves the listener profoundly unsettled, just like the best horror movies. “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” truly was the blueprint: vocals oozing morose melodrama, guitars scratching at their insides and bass lines grooving to something much darker than the “Monster Mash,” and the atmosphere of that moment right after an act of incredible violence, silence so loud it’s unbearable.– Ben Cohn I met a gothic dancer the other day, and they said their performances perfectly capture the “sinister” beauty of movement. Did you hear about the gothic tailor? He specializes in sewing “seams” of darkness into all his garments. Why did the gothic poet always write in rhymes? Because he wanted his words to “resonate” through your bones.

Others had us in stitches at how cutting they were - with some incredible put downs (sorry Boris Johnson) included in the responses readers sent in. Read More Related Articles Once, a goth went to a fortune-teller. The fortune-teller said, “I see darkness in your future.” The goth replied, “Finally, someone who gets me.”What is a goth’s favorite classical piece? Moonlight Sonata, its melancholy melody soothes their soul. I used to wonder why my history teachers loved to teach about the Roman Empire so much. I think I get it now. They both hated vandals and goths.